“I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now I see it more as a step along the path of self-realization and growth.”
Every couple can have some downfalls in relations, but if your life is a constant downfall-you have to change something to prevent yourself from being burnt out. Sometimes, the divorce seems to be the best decision in the situation, so don’t be afraid to tell yourself: enough! I have been divorced 3 times, and each time I thought that it was the last my divorce. I overcame a lot of pain and misunderstandings, moreover, I faced several serious mistakes during my divorce process and learned some lessons of how not to be cheated by your spouse or how to file for divorce without any nervous situations. Today I will share with you my knowledge. My name is Ashley, and I have a lot of things worth sharing, so let’s start!
General Information
Well, guys, you have to think about the consequences of the failed divorce procedures in advance, so if there is any misunderstanding from both your side and the side of your spouse, you should clarify them all, paying your attention to the most important parts of the divorce case. The main issues of any divorce are child custody, spousal support or as it is also called, an alimony, division of the marital property and some more aspects. By the way, I can tell you that the most terrible thing that can ever happen to you, is the marital property division. My first husband was living in my flat that was given to me by my beloved parents, but when he was divorcing me, he proposed to share it 50/50. It was a disaster because I did not want to share with him the property that was my parents’ one. We had a great number of different court hearings, mediation processes, experts’ evaluation of the flat until my attorney finally proved that the flat is mine and only mine. So, another total nightmare is a preparation of the documents. You can only imagine, how difficult it is two prepare all your documents and forms with no help from the side of the online service that can easily help you with all the papers, furthermore, you will get printable forms to download wherever and whenever you want. My first divorce was completely a disaster due to the fact that we did not apply for such a helpful service earlier and did everything by ourselves. I thought that I am at the edge to kill my husband than finish that pity paperwork. So, draw your highest attention to the small detail because they can be so important in your case that you even cannot guess how they are significant.
Dealing with Paperwork
To file for divorce wisely, you need to point out some steps of the preparation of the documents. Here they are:
- Look at the official websites of the county court, what papers you will need. Sometimes the courts can have a different feeling fee or the county will implement new rules for the divorce process, check the relevant information until you want to have troubles with the divorce procedure.
- Order the required forms and documents at the special site for $139-149 or hire the lawyer who will prepare your documents but for $550 per hour. You can also try to file with the Superior Court by yourself, but I wish you really good luck in such a case.
- Be ready to serve your spouse with all the documents his/she needs. Make at least several copies of each form in order not to run the nearest copy center if you do not have an extra copy.
- Wait until your spouse signs all the papers. If the case is an Uncontested one, your spouse will immediately sign the papers, but if your case is a Default one, your spouse will postpone signing them or else just deny the Petition for the Dissolution of Marriage.
- Take the needed documents and file with the Superior Court. Your mission is completed. You did everything you wanted. Now it will be high time to prepare for the court hearing or just for taking the Divorce Decree.
Behavior in the Court
If your case is an Uncontested one, you even can overcome such a “pleasure” to go to the court hearing and listening to the mediator, the judge, and other people who constantly tell you what to do. In my life, I have got three court hearings of one divorce, so now I know what to wear ripped jeans to the court is a bad bad idea! I also know that you should be in the court building at least two hours earlier, not to miss your turn. You can ask for the schedule of your hearing because from time to time the hearings can be scheduled again. In California, the huge role play the residency requirements that can spoil all the deal. You should have lived with your spouse in California at least 6 months before you file with the court. Moreover, one of the spouses should have a constant residency. The rules are rather tricky and need to be disputed once again with your spouse. Remember, that your successful result of the divorce procedure depends only on you. One more point is that you should not argue with the judge on anything. My stupid first ex-husband did it and he was nearly arrested for such impolite activity towards a court representative. I was rather in shock of such his behavior, so my advice is never to argue in the court and never marry stupid guys!
Well, what I have to say, it is completely your deal whether to continue your marriage or break the current relations, but you should first be prepared for such an important activity in your life. If you do not have enough money to begin the process, you had better stay in the marriage and keep money than to ask for the fee waiver for instance. Anyway, do not be afraid to live a full life, because you live only once!
Divorce in Califronia 